I turn 42 today…

I thought I was 42 this past year so I feel like I’ve missed out on being 41. I guess I can re-live 41 again this coming year and get back on track next year? I wish! Is old age making me forget how old I am or am I in denial of how old I really am?

One marketer even considered me a “millennial mom.” I had to clarify and ask if they meant I was a mom to a millennial or that I was in the same age bracket as millennials. Hahaha.

When I tell people my age, most of the time they tell me I look younger than my age (total compliment). I tell them I feel youthful. I think of it as more of projection than appearance. I try to project how I feel.

I was talking to a few friends who are around my age a few weeks ago. We were talking about how we feel about being our ages and what we expected our lives to be like at this age. We all agreed that we don’t feel “old” or older (except for our metabolism).  Some of us attributed it to living in the city and feeding off the energy of the city. Maybe it’s because we surround ourselves with people our own age? I don’t know. I have friends who are 10 years younger than me and still don’t feel “old”. I sometimes think that social media and technology has somehow changed the way we see things. It makes us feel connected (or ragey – that’s another post for another day) to what is happening.

When my mom was 42 years old, she had 4 kids.  Her oldest child, my brother, was 23 years and I was 20 years old. I would ask her if she felt old and her response was always “No, I’m just tired.” She never really let her age affect how she acted or felt. Maybe I had imagined my life to be like my mom’s, at 42 with adult children and tired all the time. But she got married at 18 and I got married at 35 so my 40s isn’t like hers. I do, however, feel tired all the time…just like her so we have that in common.

What it really comes down to is that we are thinking less and less of what life should be like at a certain age but just enjoying life as we grow older. And maybe our teenage-selves or 20-something-selves had unrealistic expectations of our 40-year-old-selves should doing and how we should feel like.

To be honest, it feels great to be in my 40s. Would I want to re-live those days in my 20s and 30s? Sometimes…but I wouldn’t want to change anything about them. They shaped me to be the person I am today.

Since it’s my birthday, I wanted to share how it feels be in my 40s. I might change this post up every year while I’m in my 40’s, because I can change my mind. That’s part of growing up, right?

I feel good, not old

I really feel good about myself and this age. Of course, I would love to lose 20 lbs or so but I feel confident in my skin (and weight).  There are days that the insecurities and self consciousness come back but those days are far less than they used to be.

I am myself, not my age

It’s taken me a long time to accept me and act like me (without the concern of what other people think of me). I try not to let my age define me. Yeah, I may be the oldest mom in Luke’s kindergarten class this coming fall, but I’m not going to tell everyone that or use it as an excuse. I’m still gonna go through the whole kindergarten transition like everyone else and do my thing.

I size up in clothes but not to everyone else

You see that yellow skirt I wore in that picture above? It was on sale. I sized up thinking I would wear something with a little room (it’s a size 12, by the way). When it arrived in the mail, I opened the box and the first that in my head was “Yikes, this skirt is huge!” Then I tried it on and it fitted me perfectly. I guess I’ve either gained weight or think I look skinnier than what I really am. LOL!

I accept that I may need to size up in clothes because not everything is consistently sized but I won’t try to size myself up to everyone else. Comparison breeds unhappiness and disapointment. So whenever a comparison thought crosses my mind, I envision Cher (from the movie “Moonstruck”) to slap me across the face and tell me to “Snap out of it!”

I’m just getting started

There’s still so much I want to do, places I want to see, food I want to eat, and things in my life (and Luke’s life) that I want to experience. The road to get here had it’s ups and downs but I’m looking forward to all these new experiences because I’m just getting started!

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About the location: The mural is located at Eden (a restaurant in the West Loop). I need to try their brunch.